Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize