please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
