with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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