i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize