I murdered the dance floor call the cops
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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