Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
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