I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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