before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Two words: nipple clamps
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