btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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