Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
