Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
