whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
