To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I believe in your delicious
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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