my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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