She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
