I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
