So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
