sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
