I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
