you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
