what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
