I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize