he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
