dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Don't EVER smell your tampon
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
