Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
