So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
