I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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