idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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