So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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