WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
