jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
