People in love make me want to vomit
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Randomize
