Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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