If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Banned from zoo.
Again?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
