Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
We had sex on a dog bed..
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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