I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
