Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
