Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Randomize
