my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
