Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
