I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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