you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
