What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
