My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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