yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
