The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
