I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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