if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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