Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
