I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
3pm strippers are depressing
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
