Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
