So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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