I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I AM VODKA MAN
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Randomize
