Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
