my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Randomize
