Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
