is your mom at the bar?
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Randomize
