She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
