Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
