I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
