I wanna passion pit in your ass
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
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