no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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